YourProudSponsor

2007-10-04T20:07:00.000-06:00

Angry, completely fucking bitterly angry. How does this world function where good people get completely fucking shit on. I didn't do anything wrong, sure I had my flaws, but I never hurt anyone like this. Every day is building up more and more. It seems like every time I turn around something goes better for her, what the fuck is that. I've been stuck in limbo for months, stepped on, even fucking pushed in front of a car on my birthday. There hasn't been one moment where I saw some kind of remnants of why I even try anymore. It's fucking worthless, not worth anything. I can't stand waking up everyday and trying to be nice to people faking it and feeling completely empty inside. Everything was there, I had it all and now it's just a pile of shit. The pills don't work worth a fuck, and I think about killing myself on a daily basis. So here's my recipe for completely ruining a good individual

1. Give them something they've wanted all their lives.
2. Make them believe that nothing in the world could take it away.
3. Bring them so close to the things they love that it makes them not want to live without them.
4. Take it away from them, but promise you will give it back to them.
5. Completely disconnect from them.
6. Pretend like you still give a shit.
7. Stop pretending like you give a shit and shove it further in their face.
8. Fake to them that your a good person and your past doesn't exist.
9. Showboat to that person how you have the thing they love and they don't.
10. Fake changes and people in your life to make yourself feel better and them worse.

2007-05-22T19:26:00.000-06:00

A Single Spark Explosion

I feel like I've lost most friends and not gained any. I feel alone, even when I'm not. The doctor gave me pills to feel better, but I don't think it's going to work. They say these things take time, but I just feel like every day is a battle with my emotions. Anyone reading my posts for personal satisfaction can stop now, cause I'm basically just using this as a personal journal, a little less private yes, but I feel it's better than talking to a piece of paper, neither talk back anyhow. I saw a park with flowers the other day where I'd like to take someone someday. It may not be there by that time. I stay locked in my room a lot, at least I'm exercising. The worst part of a day is waking up knowing that that night I'll just come back and sleep alone again. I wake up and roll over with my arm that only finds a pillow. Plagued with dreams and burned again. I just need some hint of something to keep me stable, something better than the tease I received on a Sunday morning offering me false hope. She's not coming back. Stop kidding yourself. I feel like I'm constantly trying to impress people, like I have something to prove. I have nothing to prove. I bring nothing to the table.
I read matthew good's personal reflection of his life as he learned that he was bi-polar. Reading through it I can completely relate. The pacing, the anxiety, the always focused energy that can't be released. I hope the pills work for me, I hope they don't do to me what they did to him. I hope I'm not bi-polar. I wish I thought I had a future, cause I can't see past tonight, and if I try I see myself old and in an apartment filled with animals. They mean nothing, cause I'm still alone. The only thing I ever wanted out of this life has been put on hold. The thing that scares me is how long?..... weeks..... years..... I hate to think a decade or even more. I'm scared as fuck. I don't know if I can even ever do it again. If I can, I certainly won't feel good about it. It would be unfair to anyone to let them think I loved them now. Life is great when you have all the things you'd trade for what you really want. It's too bad life doesn't work like that. No one on this planet could possibly understand me or put up with me long enough. I failed myself. I tried to be superman, I tried to be unbreakable and it didn't work. It doesn't work.

I used to think I'd get over everything, But everything just got over me.

Kyle

2007-05-13T17:20:00.000-06:00

I Feel Bad

Not just today, every day.... or at least it seems like every day. Every time I wake up, every time I go to sleep I think about things, things that I don't even care about, that I tell myself I don't care about. The drinking helps, or at least when I'm with friends it does. All it does is make me act outrageous and while I'm still intoxicated, I can feel some happiness. After that wears off I just think about the things I did the night before and feel even worse. I figured with time I'd be feeling better, but it's like every day I feel worse than the last. It's not even about her anymore, it's become entirely about my own feelings about everything. Someone once said that no matter who or what you are, everything on this planet dies alone. Which is to say that when you die, no one is dying with you, you have to do it yourself. Scary. The comfort I experience from being around friends only gets swept away at the moment they leave. And at every days end I wonder how much longer I'll know that person, or if I've hurt them that day. I'm going to the doctor this week to see if he can fix me as these feelings of happiness mixed with days of extreme depression are starting to get the better of me. I don't know who I've become anymore, and I don't really like it. I wish I didn't care, I wish I could be a person that moves on and doesn't give a shit. I like to pretend I am. I don't know if I can be close to anyone anymore. It's like there's an underlying mentality that I don't want to know anyone new because everyone just leaves in the end.

There are people in this world that have a lot less than me, and I feel like I'm taking everything for granted. I just want to get back to being able to take control of my life, but then again maybe I never did know..... cause I can't remember a time that I didn't have days where I felt bad, they just seem more often now.

I feel like I'm losing for money, I feel like I'm losing for free.

Kyle

2007-04-08T18:42:00.000-06:00

I Need Help

I can't keep going through this stuff everyday. All I keep thinking about is her. I love her so much and I know she loves me still. The time apart from her is killing me. I worry about her all the time and I don't know what to do. These pills don't take anything away. I thought after this much time I'd feel better about things but I don't. I feel bad when I talk to her, I feel like I'm pushing her even further away. We were so happy, things were so great, I love her, I will never be able to stop loving her, she's my everything. I have to get her back somehow, feelings this strong have to mean something. I need to figure out how to get her back without hurting her or myself anymore. I have to write this here because I feel like I can't talk to anybody, and I feel alone.

I can't go through this without trying to get it back. I feel like I've lost my everything.

Kyle

2007-03-15T23:25:00.000-06:00

Come crashing in... into my little world :D..

So... haven't posted in awhile, and no one will know I've posted in sometime. Nothings really changed in my life, things are the same as always. I bought a new computer which I hope will inspire some change, but probably not. Love and life are still pretty much the same, however school is driving me nuts, I'm failing a subject, possibly 2, and I have no job lined up for the summer. I was lining something up with my previous employer, but have not heard anything.... not good. So if anyone can employ me, much appreciated. In other news, I've been feeling really weird lately, happy half the day, off the rest.... but i think this is just do to the stress of school.

The next post will be better I promise, i'm just in a weird state of mind......

Klye

2006-11-30T21:38:00.000-06:00

I really want to see Borat and Pick of Destiny. Everyone should listen to the new Tenacious D album, cause it's fuckin awesome. "CAUSE IF YOU THINK IT'S TIME TO FUCKIN ROCK!". Anyways, I feel obligated to post tonight as the honourable Jayden racist Harloff was complaining about me not posting and seeing as I have time now cause I'm not doing any more work till midterms and am currently getting wasted. The more reasons the better I feel about posting this bullshit. By the way harloff, I couldn't think of anything funny, I had something funny in my head the night you asked me, and then I forgot it, so here's a rant......

On Micheal Richards, I like him more now. I though the outburst was hilarious. I mean he got pissed off and shouted some shit, so what, black people call each other N words all the time. For some reason it's ok to discrace fellow african americans, but you cannot be discraced by a person of a different race. Now these bastards are looking for money?. Hell next time some some black guy calls a white guy a cracker or something he should sue him for his 40 of OE. I'm not racist, depending on who you ask, but it's just the truth, people with fuckin sue for anything now. What's even better is there's like 1000 black people on youtube doing web interviews about how they think this guy is a racist, seriously, have they nothing fuckin better to do than sit and interview themselves on why they think he's a racist, what a waste of your fucking time. At least it's comforting to know 100 years from now a black man will get a block of rice crispy treats as reparations for something that they personally never had to suffer.

Next is my list of things that have pissed me off in the past little while:

-Having to stay up for 35 hours doing school work (I didn't even have time to jerk off)
-The girl that sits next to me in class and nods at everything the teacher says, HE'S NOT FUCKING SPEAKING TO YOU YOU IGNORANT CUNT SO STOP NODDING
-This guy on the bus the other day walked all the way from the back of the bus while it was moving, to the front of the fully packed bus and then back to the back of the bus to sit down. Meanwhile he could have just waited for everyone to get off at the university and asked. Ignorant prick.
-Kirk's not buying a Wii, which is lame.
-Not having time to jerk off

On a final note, I recently discovered my credit card was issued 06/06 and expires 06/09, which in turn puts together 666 as well as 69. I have the devils swinger card. Touche Ron Jeremy, touche.
THE END

Kyle

2006-11-19T00:18:00.000-06:00

Scubes... a Pictorial.

Save the best for last I always say

Gnight.

2006-11-14T22:19:00.000-06:00

Man kinds last hope indeed......

GOOD.... GOOD......

2006-11-10T16:38:00.000-06:00

I Smell Sex and Candy..... Here....

I knew it couldn't last, I mean, there's only so much a man can take. I tried to keep my room in proper order, but amongst the booze and confusion it went to hell. All there is to do now is just let it happen, sit back and have a beer.
I've also let this blog go to shit. Pretty sure no one reads this anymore, however I will choose to continue it for my own satisfaction, like masturbation without a happy ending. Since I am drinking tonight, and I finally have time to post, I figured I'd go with another list....

As many know, I am a fan of the drink, for better or worse, without further ado I present to you....

Kyle's Selected Top Twenty Most Memorable Unmemorable Drunk Moments

20. Passing out in the my doorway here at school after Rog didn't show in guelph.
19. Pretty much any night Dad and I are drinking together.
18. Kirk and I making our own Generos commercials.
17. Going to Jayden's friend Tom's house and passing out and getting written on, after drinking multiple things I shouldn't have drank.
16. Punting Scubes Doritos and then fighting him.
15. Winning Bingo at the Pig's Ear after I had previously called Bingo under false pretenses, that's right, I won bitch.
14. Lindsay's house dancing on the kitchen table and attempting to do the dishes.
13. Going to thursdays with Brett, Laura, and 3 of her girlfriends, alot of money was spent.
12. Laura and Kyle at her sister Kelly's wedding and dancing up a storm then paying the limo driver to drive us home.
11. Gus and Kyle at Sin City & roaming the streets of peterorough after everyone left us there after Love Shack.
10. Jayden and Kyle almost get in a fight due to Kyle's very inappropriate comment to the guys in the car driving by. It must have been a damn good insult, but I can't remember it.
9. Kirk having to push Kyle home and repeatedly falling in the mud after a night at doogies in which we screamed at the band to play Primus for probably 90% of the night and yelling at innocent bystanders.
8. Singing one bourbon one scotch one beer, over and over, dancing on Alexis' cottage picnic table
7. Guy's night at Rog's with Jayden, Rog, and Brett and waking up to represent them as their attorney to find their apartment.
6. Drinking in Lindsay at Mark's house and not even being able to function my debit card, then wandering outside infront of the cops.
5. The texas of Rum at Keith's house, trying to walk home with Brad and nearly being hit by cars.
4. New Years at Becky's, insulting people I don't know and vomiting all over the kitchen floor.
3. Walking through the woods at Matty's purple jesus party, I seriously thought I was going to die.
2. My cousin's wedding ( bad news).
1. 19th Birthday - no explanation needed.

There you have it.
God it's been fun, I hope there's lots more rediculous moments to come.

P.S. Scubes, if your reading this, you have to come to guelph, on the next bus, and then call me so I can go pick your ass up. Jerk.

Klye

2006-10-27T22:12:00.000-06:00

People got problems, people got problems with people.

SO!, tis friday again, and anyone reading this probably knows that it's self destruct time. But i could submit my post with other peoples content. Stoner talk, stoner talk, soy milk eats regular milks' ass. I like soy milk cause it doesn't hurt animals, it's only a carcinogen. But anyways.

Tonight I am celebrating failure. But that's ok, cause I found this!

Does anyone else remember Mr. Toad from the wind in the willows?. I have to say, his crazy british coke head antics entertained me. Tonight Kirk was molesting my gamecube, and I think it liked it...... I had a legitimately funny post, but then I started drinking rye, so it kind of screwed it over.

I really want to see saw 3. No matter what this blog will always be more awesome than scubes.... unfortunately I dont' have pictures of me destroying things on WOW.... I can't afford it. Like I can't afford the sex.

It's no fun till someone dies....

Kyle

2006-10-13T19:12:00.000-06:00

TOGA PARTY!

Well, not really, but I'm really awaiting a toga party. I think the best part of the toga party would be the combination of drinking and everyone partially covered by sheets. So basically, I'm still awaiting the toga party Jayden & Rog are supposed to be having at their house, and in spite, am hosting my own toga party here tonight. The only problem with this is, is that it is a lone toga party. As unfortunately there is not alot happening tonight, except for pizza, beer and some nacho libre, I must conquer olympus by myself in my toga. In fact, thinking of toga parties, it could be very dangerous in the event of projectile vomiting or explosive diarrhea. In the odd scenario this would take place, what do you change into. I mean, you came to the party in a toga, everyone is expecting you to be in one, and you can't really hide either on white sheets. I guess this will have to be left until the real event of the toga shart. Which I think I just invented.

In other news, I started off the night with a 8.6% beer. It was quite tastey, and now that I have moved onto the rye, things are becoming incredibly clearer. Being Friday the 13th, I decided to celebrate my incredible dissatisfaction with the world. For instance, some guy at the beerstore complains to me the other day about the lineup being slow, and remarks "This place should be shut down". As this individual is obviously an imbosile, I respond with, "Well then you wouldn't have any fuckin beer now would ya?". As most angry men waiting for beer, I think this guy did not like me from this point on. It's funny how people can think your on their side and laugh, and then you throw dirt in their eyes and tell them to fuck off. Seriously, fuckin whiners.

On the subject of whiners, people are way too high strung these days. One simple imperfection in an order causes them to lose it. I mean, people slave all day in all sorts of establishment, and to politely correct someone is different than an all out outburst. For instance, if I go into a coffee shop and I order something, and I get the wrong order, if I was severly dissatisfied, I would ask politely, and expect a polite response. However, in days of the new, people flip out without future consequences. If you flip out on someone, how do you expect them to respond. I mean, maybe the poor girl at the counter hasn't had the best day, maybe she spilled coffee on herself, broke up with her boyfriend who knows. Now all of a sudden you come along and ruin the fuckin day by bitchin about how your cafe latte has too much fuckin foam on it. I mean, is it really such a big deal? Fuckin compromise for once, wipe it off, fuckin drink it, so you don't like it, it was a couple bucks. Seriously, if the temporary misfortune of yourself can keep someone's day from being a complete tragedy, why not compromise. So next time you get something wrong with something you receive, respond politely, and the person serving you will respond politely. Who knows, you might even get a blowjob out of it.

Klye.

2006-10-12T21:12:00.000-06:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LAURS!!!

For those who don't know, it's Laura's birthday today. By the time I actually get this posted it will probably be friday, so this is kind of belated. I posted this awesome picture of you at my house, as you can see the red book is you, I'm the orange book, the overly enthusiastic yellow book is my mom, and the stoned blue book is my dad. There's also a demented mouse that represents misty, and then there's your dog. I know your dog doesn't live at my house, but it works with the picture. So I have to hurry and post this before the end of the night. I will end this short and suite and say have a good 21st birthday, now your legal in multiple countries. As well, go out there and get wasted tomorrow night for me, but not too wasted as per below:

HAPPY BDAY LAURS ;)

KYLE

2006-10-03T20:49:00.000-06:00

Why?

BECAUSE I CAN!

I feel these pictures speak louder than words... chalking a pool cue and christina agadgasdglkjglera go together like pancakes and syrup.

Cheers,

Kyle

2006-10-02T21:37:00.000-06:00

Even More Fucked Up Species

Well, when I started this I didn't know it would catch on, but there have been some requests for more, so here they are:

Figure1: Manwhorus (Jaydonus) Jerkofasauras aka (Pipus Angry-Masturbinious)

3.Manwhorus Jerkofasauras aka (Pipus Angry-Masturbinious) - man-hoar-us. jirk-oph-o-soar-us - Derived from the german word whoren meaning, to whore oneself out to the masses, and jerkoffen another german word, meaning to stroke without partner or lubrication. This wild and untimely beast walks the earth in search of young girls. If unable to satisfy his cravings, it's strong physique is focused on the task of angry masturbation, sometimes until exhaustion. Manwhorus Jerkofasaurus can be found mostly in large groups of other Manwhorus Jerkoffasauri partaking in a mutually gratifying circle jerk. This often takes part during the listening of Tiny Dancer by Elton John, a much loved song among it's many classic rock favourites. It's beautiful purple shaved legs are made for their thrusting power and to attract the opposite, and sometimes same sex partners. After attacking it's prey, the Manwhorus Jerkofasaurus demands an apology and usually moves to it's past time of drinking large quantities of beer, liqour and engaging in games which will enhance drinking with minimal brain exertion, such as Oracle. This animal loves looking at itself and often runs into shiny things after attempting to make out with itself. Although smaller, Manwhorus Jerkofasaurus is extremely strong and "pipe"-like giving it it's second name Pipus Angry-Masturbinious. In a one on one ultimate fight, Pipus Angry-Masturbinious may be able to defeat a Kirkma Santabeast, however there has been no recorded case. In fact in the event of a conflict, the Pipus Angry-Masturbinious will often seek protection in the Kirkma Santabeasts luscious beard.

Figure 2: ChildBearingDrinkamus aka KangarooPouchedBabyCaravan (pronounced Kyle)

4. ChildBearingDrinkamus aka KangarooPouchedBabyCaravan (pronounced Kyle)- This creature suffers immensely during his hibernation season starting in September. His Manwomb increases it's breath during periods of high concentration homework. Growing inside of him is an alcohol fueled anger aura. This aura is not birthed like a child, instead
it releases endorphins into the body resulting in periods of convuluted jibberish as well as
periods of intense relaxation and selflessness. Calming periods result in the unmitigated
blasting of classic rock music and profanity. With relations to the Yankee product line
at an all time high, the ChildBearingDrinkamus is able to maintain a fairly constant state of self being, as well as a constant stream of abstract ideas. With high moral standards comes a feeling of police-like authoritaw, thus leading to the child shaking dilemma experienced in the picture provided above. Children fear the child bearing manchild because unlike them, he has a womb like sphere inside his rage driven stomach. Children do not respond well to lyrics quotes pertaining to layin' pipe or Ridin' Dirty. So next time you come home, don't strangle your kids.

The second one was created by Kirk, which explains it's unconventional flow and style.

That's it for now, I'm sure there'll be more, but inbetween other actually good posts so they don't get really boring...

Kyle

2006-10-02T14:50:00.000-06:00

Turkey

Apparently the number one rule is to never dive with a turkey. In some exploration of the internet, I found something very interesting.

Figure 1: Scubacus Turkimust

1. Scubacus Turkimust- sku-ba-cus. turr~ke-must - derived from the irish word scubes which means to swim in alcohol, and turkie, the turkish word meaning to eat mass quantities of turkey, the scubacus turkimust comes around but once a year to drink others alcohol and eat mass amounts of turkey. The distinct features of a scubacus turkimust are it's oddly upside down pear shaped head, flailing arm expressions combined with it's overrbearing screeching of political propoganda. Scubacus Turkimust has a huge knowledge of useless information which can be very handy in games of trivial pursuit. This animal thrives on debate, and will continue in conversations of communism and two tier health systems for hours. Many love the scubacus turkimust as it provides with hours of entertainment especially when given it's fair share of alcohol. Caution should be taken when dealing with a scubacus turkimust as if given too much alcohol, can turn your home into a communist refuge, and if frightened may try to burn itself in large fires. The best way to restrain a frightened scubacus turkimust is to first confuse it by punting it's doritos and then pinning it to the ground and giving it a pink belly.

But my discoveries didn't really end there, I also found this!

Figure 2: Kirkma Santabeast

2. Kirkma Santabeast - Keerk-ma. Sand-ta-beest - derived from the polish word kiki which means manchine (an impossibly awesome beast) and the french word Santicus meaning jolly old bearded one, the Kirkma Santabeast eats anything that falls within beard range. This gnarly motherfucker loves the cold and sleeps for long periods at a time. It only weakness is Creemore, drinking kegs of it in a single sitting. The Kirkma Santabeast has been known to calm when Mars Volta is played, and has a strong affinity for mike patton. Having a diet consisting mainly of hot dogs, it is unwise to upset the Kirkma Santabeast, as it has been known to throwdown and cause immediate bruising. The Kirkma Santabeast has also been known to ultimate fight it's opponents and was canada's response to the platypus.

In some instances these animals have been known to join forces, please stay clear of this abnormally awesome duo.

Please also check out the review of the new Jet cd located here
I think that about sums it up.

Until next time:
go suck a bag of dicks

Kyle

2006-09-29T14:07:00.001-06:00

So nobody knows I'm posting here, but I plan to at least on a drunken friday weekly basis. Right now it's a little after four, and I thought I'd come up with 10 reasons why it's ok for me to start drinking now.

10. I wouldn't be able to make a 10 reasons why it's ok for me to start drinking now list.
9. I really have nothing better to do, and in actual fact, my beer is expiring as we speak, it's almost a minute older now.
8. Successfully completed the lab that's due next tuesday with extra time I had today.
7. Kirk and I are planning on getting drunk and playing NHL 06', I figure having a head start will give Kirk a chance at beating me.
6. I have to have a legitimate reason to be listening to music this loud.
5. I'm a university student.
4. I'm not a great university student.
3. I've been quite sick lately, which means I'll probably fall asleep early, so I have to do my drinking now instead of later as I am pinched for time.
2. I'm hoping a raised blood alcohol level will let the irish cells beat off the sickness cells and I will feel 100% in the morning, with the exception of a hangover, vomiting and swearing.
1. I'm an alcoholic, there's not really anything funny about that...?

PS offspring ruled 1o years ago today.

Thank you and goodnight!

2006-04-12T18:14:00.000-06:00

Testing secret blog :o