Even More Fucked Up Species

Well, when I started this I didn't know it would catch on, but there have been some requests for more, so here they are:

Figure1: Manwhorus (Jaydonus) Jerkofasauras aka (Pipus Angry-Masturbinious)

3.Manwhorus Jerkofasauras aka (Pipus Angry-Masturbinious) - man-hoar-us. jirk-oph-o-soar-us - Derived from the german word whoren meaning, to whore oneself out to the masses, and jerkoffen another german word, meaning to stroke without partner or lubrication. This wild and untimely beast walks the earth in search of young girls. If unable to satisfy his cravings, it's strong physique is focused on the task of angry masturbation, sometimes until exhaustion. Manwhorus Jerkofasaurus can be found mostly in large groups of other Manwhorus Jerkoffasauri partaking in a mutually gratifying circle jerk. This often takes part during the listening of Tiny Dancer by Elton John, a much loved song among it's many classic rock favourites. It's beautiful purple shaved legs are made for their thrusting power and to attract the opposite, and sometimes same sex partners. After attacking it's prey, the Manwhorus Jerkofasaurus demands an apology and usually moves to it's past time of drinking large quantities of beer, liqour and engaging in games which will enhance drinking with minimal brain exertion, such as Oracle. This animal loves looking at itself and often runs into shiny things after attempting to make out with itself. Although smaller, Manwhorus Jerkofasaurus is extremely strong and "pipe"-like giving it it's second name Pipus Angry-Masturbinious. In a one on one ultimate fight, Pipus Angry-Masturbinious may be able to defeat a Kirkma Santabeast, however there has been no recorded case. In fact in the event of a conflict, the Pipus Angry-Masturbinious will often seek protection in the Kirkma Santabeasts luscious beard.


Figure 2: ChildBearingDrinkamus aka KangarooPouchedBabyCaravan (pronounced Kyle)


4. ChildBearingDrinkamus aka KangarooPouchedBabyCaravan (pronounced Kyle)- This creature suffers immensely during his hibernation season starting in September. His Manwomb increases it's breath during periods of high concentration homework. Growing inside of him is an alcohol fueled anger aura. This aura is not birthed like a child, instead
it releases endorphins into the body resulting in periods of convuluted jibberish as well as
periods of intense relaxation and selflessness. Calming periods result in the unmitigated
blasting of classic rock music and profanity. With relations to the Yankee product line
at an all time high, the ChildBearingDrinkamus is able to maintain a fairly constant state of self being, as well as a constant stream of abstract ideas. With high moral standards comes a feeling of police-like authoritaw, thus leading to the child shaking dilemma experienced in the picture provided above. Children fear the child bearing manchild because unlike them, he has a womb like sphere inside his rage driven stomach. Children do not respond well to lyrics quotes pertaining to layin' pipe or Ridin' Dirty. So next time you come home, don't strangle your kids.

The second one was created by Kirk, which explains it's unconventional flow and style.

That's it for now, I'm sure there'll be more, but inbetween other actually good posts so they don't get really boring...


Kyle